Scarlet Lily
by Blonde Pickle Mule
Summary: "Sometimes Severus really did hate himself. As of late it was more always than sometimes. How had he screwed things with Lily up so badly?" Severus Snape sits in the Great Hall and thinks about Lily. One-sided.


**This was written for homework on the Hogwarts Online Forum about unrequitted love. I had the prompts: Great Hall, lips, smile and daydream.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter and I never will.**

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Sometimes Severus really did hate himself. As of late it was more always than sometimes. How had he screwed things with Lily up so badly? Things had been going downhill before he called her that awful name, but she'd still been there, still believed he could be good.

It had been three weeks. _Three weeks. _It was killing him. Avery, Mulciber, Lucius- they all talked to him, but they weren't his friends. Not really. They were all just caught up in the same game and he had nothing in common with the three of them. They didn't understand him like Lily did. There had been a time not so very long ago when all she had to do was look at him and know something was wrong.

Now she didn't care enough to look, and Severus didn't blame her. She was too good for him- always had been- and what he'd done to her was unforgivable. Severus had never felt he deserved the taunts of the Marauders but now he wondered. Had they just seen what he really was before everybody else?

The sallow-faced Slytherin let his face sink into his hands and rubbed his eyes, hoping people would think he was just tired and not fighting back tears. Luckily the Great Hall was buzzing with conversation and nobody cared to look at the unpopular boy in the corner. Even from here he could hear the Marauder's boisterous laugher. They had such an easy life. Sighing he re-emerged and looked around him, black eyes unconsciously seeking Lily out.

They found her seconds later at the Gryffindor table, laughing with Alice Fawcett and Marlene McKinnon. She was a scarlet lily, the only one of her kind. Severus watched her face hungrily, lost in a daydream of days when they were younger. Nothing could touch them back then, there was no prejudice or doubt to tear them apart. They had just been two kids, lost in the magic of themselves. How he wished they could go back.

As it was, Severus was grateful to Hogwarts for one thing- it had made Lily blossom like the flower she was named for. She had never been a shy person, but she thrived in the magic world. Severus had always quietly admired her, be it from afar or by her side. How could he not? She was beautiful with that smile that dragged him from the darkest moods, her lips the softest sugar pink against her creamy white skin. The Slytherin had always been in awe of her long fiery hair that shone in the sunlight, had always been swept away by the sparkles in her emerald green eyes. It was safe to say Severus Snape was in love with Lily Evans.

And for a while it looked like it could have all been his. He could have been with her right now, sitting by the Black Lake with some toast like they used to do. She might have loved him back one day, but he'd thrown it all away just like his father. Now Lily was open to ever boy in the world except him. Severus would never forgive himself for it. He knew that much. Lily was the best friend that he'd ever had, and nothing could ever replace her.

Years later when he had to choose his side, Lily's voice whispered in his ear even as he held her family's life in his hands. Her voice said she trusted him. It took him back to a time in the woods, she was stuck in a tree and he told her to jump. Nothing had made him feel better than the blind faith in her eyes, the faith he heard now in her voice. So Severus chose the light. No matter the price, he would always choose Lily.

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***blows out breath* So...how did I do? I've never written Severus before I'm not sure I've got him right, and this was meant to be longer...but it seemed right to end it there and I stretched it out as much as I could. I'm not too sure about the last paragraph...**


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